Today is Sunday, the day of rest. A typical Sunday may consist of preparing for the week ahead, brunch or fellowship with family and friends. Some of us take practice in self-care routines, and other’s partake in a restless day of “Sunday Funday.” This Sunday, however, is rather unusual because it is SuperBowl Sunday, so I imagine that the majority of us hosted or filled our stomachs at the watch party!! Either way, people all around the country have cut routines to enjoy the fantastic game of football, and I’m not mad! I was right there with you.
I like to start my Sunday off with fellowship and inspiration at church. Sunday begins the week and I find for myself personally that how I spend this day, and what I feed into my being, will be reflected throughout my week. Considering the inspiration I received earlier, it’s going to be a busy and restoring week for me! I had planned for what I wanted to share today during Valentine’s season, but as we all know plans aren’t always carried out as expected. I have learned in my walk of life that when I acquire knowledge, it is not for me to keep to myself but to share with and educate others. Today, I learned about the heart and I’d like to share three things that resonated with me for this journey of healing, elevation, and self-discovery.
“The heart is the center of all things, it is the center and the core of who we are.”Kevin Duhart
1. The heart is who we are
What is in our hearts is the core of who we are, and how we function is based on what the heart tells us to do. In the heart there is belief, so those things we truly think of ourselves, that we try to hide from ourselves and everyone else can’t be hidden from the heart. It’s housed there. Our self-image, belief, and motives occupy the heart.
There was a time I thought I was ugly. There were so many things I disliked about myself because they drew attention that I did not like. How beautiful other’s told me I was, did not matter because I didn’t believe it about myself. I would walk around covering and hiding myself and my flaws. Ashamed to smile and engage with my peers. I lived a life of isolation, because I believed I wouldn’t be accepted. I tell you now, this is no way to live. What I believed other’s would say and think of me, was only what I thought of myself.
There was also a time I thought I wasn’t smart, and I still battle with this belief. I learn differently from other’s and there are ways I will not apply myself, so when I get around educated folks I consider myself beneath them. I always thought someone was trying to belittle me, or make me seem dumb because I didn’t have a degree. Reality, I made my own self look ridiculous with my accusations and the need to debate And defend myself when I didn’t have to. It was my own attitude and tantrums that made me look uneducated, NOT what anyone else did.
These things I believed about myself became my image, and because my heart believed it my actions carried it out.
2. What we speak, is what we believe in our hearts
Have you ever said anything like, “No one will ever love me,” or “I am going to be alone forever,” I know I have? It may seem like we just say things in the moment, or out of pity, maybe even just to get attention. Whatever we believe from our hearts, comes from our mouths; and what we say with our mouths builds and occupies our reality, this I know from experience.
I took things that I was insecure about or didn’t like about myself and used that very thing to justify why no man will ever marry me. I’m STILL not married. I gave that notion life when I spoke it. I believed I wasn’t worthy, I believed that he could and would find someone who looked better. I didn’t love myself, so of course, no man could and even if they wanted to I wouldn’t allow it.
I said things like I didn’t need friends. Be careful of the things you say!! To this day I long for a group of peers to relate to, men and women I can go to with things I can’t contain or express to my family. I long for sleepovers, brunch, birthday celebrations, lifelong sisterhood. I have none of that, because I acted like I didn’t need people. I felt people wouldn’t understand my and my background and judge, I even falsely accused them of doing so. I spoke that nonsense to life, y’all I acted a foool!
Though I was young, I now know that these feelings became reality, because I built them with my mouth. I only spoke these things because its who I was in my heart.
3. We can change our heart
Plain and simple, the heart is deceitful and inconsistent. We stay in certain situations or mindsets that aren’t good for us because our heart and the belief within is involved.
A way to change your heart is by giving. I know, I was shocked myself!! At first it sounded like the most selfish act, I’m going to give you something so I can feel better! PAUSE. This gift, doesn’t have to be monetary. If you have experienced an encounter with yourself or someone that has tarnished the relationship or your view of who you are, you can extend an olive branch, forgive, or ask for forgiveness. Sometimes all someone needs is for you to acknowledge your mistake and apologize. They need to forgive you to free themselves, but its difficult without taking responsibility. We are all bound and tormented by negative occurrences when we will not let them go or reconcile.
I am dealing with a few now. Friendships that were lost and I still envy them for what they did. Church family who have hurt me with their actions or words and I step away from my safe place because of it. We can’t run from it. If you can’t bare the sounds of Jane Smith’s name when it’s spoken, then you need to get that right!! Help yourself by doing for someone else.
In conclusion, there are encounters I have had with people that shaped what I thought of myself and I have carried these things for years. So now, I have some people I need to forgive, and some I need to repent to including myself. The image I have of who I am needs to change in this healing process, I am not the things I believed or have spoke over myself, and I am not the person that people have labeled me. There’s no more space in my heart to hold on to those false ideas, so it’s time to let go and heal from them.